Internet Marketing Information: 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

----- ----- ---- ---- -----

If your having trouble

With the High-School Head

He's giving you the blues

You wanna graduate

But not in this state

Here's what you gotta do

Pick up the phone I'm always home

Call me anytime.

Just ring 362-4360

I lead a life of crime.

Chorus:

Dirty Deeds - Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds - Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds - Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds and there Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds and there Done Dirt Cheap

You got a problem in your life of love

You got a broken heart

He's double dealing with your best friend

Thats when the teardrops start, fella

Pick up the phone, I'm here alone.

Or make a social call

Come right in, we'll get round him

We'll have ourselves a ball

Chorus

If you got a lady and you want here gone

But you ain't got the guts

She keeps nagging at you night a day

Enough to drive you nuts

Pick up the phone, leave her alone.

It's time you made a stand

For a fee I'm happy to be

Your back-door man

Chorus

Concrete Jeans

Cyanide

T.N.T

Done Dirt Cheap

Exise

Contract

High Voltage

Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Love at First Feel

---- -- ----- ----

You never told me where you came from

You never told me your name.

I didnt know if you were legal tender or not

Spend it just the same.

And I didnt know it could happen to me

But I committed love in the first degree

And it was love at first feel

It was love at first feel

First touch was too much!

They told me it was digusting

Told me it was a sin

Ah, saw me knocking on your front door

I just smiled when you let me in

Excuse me baby, were all alone

Let's get something going

While your mom and dad aint home

And it was love at first feel

It was love at first feel

Thats what they said

It was love at first feel

It was love at first feel

Felt good just like I knew it would!

Big Balls

--- -----

Well, I'm upper, upper class High-Society

Gods gift to ballroom notierity

And I always fill my ballroom

The event is never small

The social pages say I've got

The biggest balls of all

Chorus:

I've got big balls

I've got big balls

And their such big balls

And their dirty big balls

And he's got big balls

And she's got big balls

But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

And my Balls are always bouncing

And my balls are always filled

And everyone comes and comes again

If your name is one the guest list

No one can take you higher

Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!

(Chorus)

Some balls are held for charity

And some for fancy dress

But when their held for pleasure

Their one's that I like best

My balls are always bouncing

To the left and to the right

It's my belief that my big balls

Should be held every night!

(Chorus)

And I'm just itching

To tell you about them

Oh we have such wonderful fun!

Seafood Cocktail, Crabs, Crayfish

Rocker

------

I'm a rocker

I'm a roller

I'm a right out

Of controller

I'm a wheeler

I'm a dealer

I'm a raging

Women stealer

I'm a bruiser

A cruiser

A rock 'n' rollin'

Man

I got slicked back hair

Skin tight jeans

Cadillac car

And teenaged dreams

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

I'm a rock 'n' rollin' man

Got little red socks

Blue suede shoes

Big Car

And Tattoos

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

I'm a rocker, I'm a roller

Wanna jive honey?

Problem Child

------- -----

"Cut this."

I am hot and when I'm not

I'm cold as ice

Get out of my way

Just step aside

I've paid the price

What I want I take

What I don't I break

And I don't want you

With a flick of my knife

I can change your life

There's nothing you can do.

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

And I'm wild

Make my stand, No mans land

On my own

Man in blue, It's up to you

The seed is sown

What I want I stash

What I don't I smash

And your on my list

Dead or alive

I got a .45

And I never miss

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

Just watch your step

Every night steal the light

I drink my booze

Some run, Some fight

But I win they lose

When I'm mean I like

When I dont I fight

And I dont like you.

Safe a night

Are you still alive?

Your time is through

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

I'm a problem child

(Repeat 'till end)

Side Two

-=-=-=-=

Theres Gonna Be Some Rockin'

------ ----- -- ---- ------

We'll me and boys out to have some fun

Gonna put on a show, Come on let's go

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

At the show to night

Every night there's a rock and roll queen

Gonna quiver and quake gonna shake that thing

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

At the show tonight

We gotta big fat sound wanna share it 'round

Gotta big bass drum, gonna have some fun.

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

There's gonna be some rockin'

At the show tonight

There's gonna be some rockin'

(Repeat)

Ain't No Fun (Waiting 'round to be a Millionare)

----- -- --- -------- ------ -- -- - -----------

"The following is a true story,

I'll tell you,

The names have been changed,

To protect the guilty."

Well, I left my job in my home town

And I had a couple smoke

Gotta rock 'n' roll band

And a fast five hand

Gonna get to the top

Nothings gonna stop us, no nothing.

So if you got the money

We got the sound

You put it up

And we'll put it down

You got the dollar

We got the song

Gonna boogie-woogie

All night long.

Yeah boogie

I got holes in my shoes

Got holes in my teeth

Got holes in my socks

Can't get no sleep

And I'm trying to make a million

And I got patches on the patches

On my old blue jeans

Well, they used to blue

When they used to be new

When they used to be clean

But I gotta a momma, whose a home and

Just keeping me alive

While I'm and the band

Go drinking with the boys

She's working 9 to 5.

"She knows here place that woman"

Just you wait

One of the these days see me

Driving 'round town in my

Rockin Rolls Royce with phone

Booth down.

My bottle of booze

No summer time blues

Sha Na Na look at me

And my Rock 'n' Roll voice

No it aint no fun, waiting 'round to be a millionare

It aint no fun, waiting 'round to be a millionare

Do you believe me?

No it aint no fun, waiting 'round to be a millionare

No it aint no fun, do you believe me?

Waiting 'round to be a millionare

Drive a Rolls Royce car, No, No, No, No...

No it aint no fun, waiting 'round to be a millionare

No it aint no fun - Oh no..

No it aint no fun (Aint no fun) - That's what I said

No it aint no fun (Aint no fun) - And I wanna be rich

No it aint no fun (Aint no fun) - There no fun being with this bitch

No it aint no fun, waiting 'round to be a millionare

(Repeat 8x)

"Hello Howard, how you doin'? Next door neighbor."

"Get your back and jumbo jet that boy over here for me!"

Ride On

---- --

It's another lonely evening

In another lonely town

But I ain't to young to worry

No, I ain't to old to cry

When a woman gets me down

Get another empty bottle

And another empty bed

Ain't to young to admit it

And I'm not to old to lie

I'm just another empty head

Mmmm, That's why I'm lonely

I'm so Lonely

But I know what I gotta do..

I'm gonna ride on, ride on, ride on

Standing on the end of the road.

Thumb in the air

One of these days

I'm gonna change my evil ways

'Till then I'll just keep on ridin' on.

Broke another promise

And I broke another heart

But I ain't to young to realize

That I ain't to old to try

Try to get back to the start

And it's another red-light nightmare

Oh, Oh, On another red-light street

And I aint to old to hurry

'Cause I ain't to old to die

But I sure am hard to beat

But I'm lonely, God, I lonely

What am I gonna do?

Ride on, Ride on

Got myself a one way ticket

Going the wrong way

Gonna change my evil ways

One of these days

Ride on

Ride on

I'm gonna

Ride on

Ride on

Looking for a truck

Ride on

Ride on

Keep on ridin'

Ridin on and on and on and on and on and on and on

I must have a good time

Oh yeah, ride on

One of these days

One of these days

Squealer

--------

She said she'd never been

Never been touched before

She said she'd never been

This far before

She said she'd never liked

To be excited

She said she always had

Had to fight it

(And she never won)

She said she'd never been

Never been balled before

And I dont think

She'll ever ball no more

(Fixed her good)

Squealer, when I held her hand

Squealer, I made her understand

Squealer, When I kissed her lips

Squealer, Sucked her finger tips

Squealer, Who started getting hot

Squealer, Made it hard to stop

Squealer, Got to much

I think I got a magic touch

Squealer (Repeat 17x)
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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Amnesia

Amnesia, for all the hype, is a dreary little game, populated mostly by
unpleasant characters, including the one you manipulate through the adventure.
Of course, you don't know that at the start, since you wake up unable to
remember anything whatsoever.

There are two parts to the game: inside the hotel and out on the streets of
Manhattan. The hotel portion is virtually automatic; you are guided along by
the program, or actions are chosen for you, so that you have few chances to
make any real errors, except possibly dawdling too long in your room. How you
want to get through the game is up to you; this file provides you with the
absolute minimum for finishing Amnesia, without any frills. Your score will
not be terrific (somewhere around 'occasionally absent-minded'), but at least
you can finish the game quickly.

Technically, this file really isn't necessary, as the manual provides most of
the answers in the back of the book. Even so, for those who want to get this
one over with in short order, the information here should be helpful. Of
course, you can also mess around the city a bit if you like; that won't help
you finish the game, but it might be interesting. Ok, let's get the hotel out
of the way first.

In the hotel room, read the Bible, specifically John 1. Here you find a dollar
bill. Hang on to it. Do not give it to the bellboy, you need it more than he
does. Then go up to the gym, and sit through the silliness with the sauna.
Back in your room, you can drop the bookbag and the satchel. It's always best
to travel light.

Get into the tux, answer the phone, then go down to the lobby. You won't be
needing your jeans and t-shirt, so just leave them behind. In the chapel, tell
Alice 'no' when she asks if you'll marry her. Take the box when she offers it
to you. Keep trying to stand after you trip, and eventually you'll make it back
to your feet again. Leave the chapel.

If you try going back to your room, the bellboy will come over and ask for a
bribe to keep his mouth shut. You can give him the Tiffany box; you won't need
it later on. The vault can't be opened right now, so just leave the hotel,
because you'll need to find a place to sleep for the night.

The one place to sleep is a tenement on 54th Street. It will probably be either
on 9th Ave. or 10th Ave. It was on 9th the first time I played, and on 10th the
second time, so just go one block north then head west until you come to it.
Inside, do not force the right-hand door; this will only get you killed (the
neighborhood junkies hang out in that apartment). Go left instead. Delightful
place, but you can sleep here in safety.

On your way to the tenement, beg once or twice to pick up some extra cash.
You should also get a dollar from someone who asks you directions (you do need
the Street Indexer in the game for this; it is totally incorrect as regards
Manhattan streets, but the program takes this into account. Obviously, this is
some kind of anti-piracy device).

Now, if you want to skip some extra travelling, you can skip this paragraph and
go on to the next one. The only worthwhile phone number in the book is the one
for Tiny Tykes (TTTT). Call that (remember that ANY phone call you make in the
game, you MUST hyphenate the number: 555-1314, *not* 5551314, or you'll never
get an answer). Listen to the recording, and make note of the address, then
take the train down there. You'll get a note from Alice, saying she'll be
waiting for you every day at the NY Historical Society between Noon and 2 PM.

Make sure you eat something (beg for extra money if necessary; sooner or later,
you should run into the Wacky Wanderer, and pick up some extra bucks), then
take the train uptown to the NY Historical Society in time to meet Alice. Be
careful that you do not inadvertantly leave the place; it costs $2 to get in,
and money is still necessary here. Walk into the Tiffany Room any time after
twelve, and Alice will be there.

Ask her a few questions, about herself, about Xavier, whatever. Then ask her
about Denise. She'll get upset and run out; follow her. You will lose her on
the street, but that isn't important. This entire episode is the trigger for
something of far greater import: outside, you will meet an artist (walk a
little bit). He is totally fascinated by your clothes, and eventually you end
up exchanging yours for his. You also get $5, his sketchpad, a piece of
charcoal, and some advice: go down to Washington Square park to draw portraits
and make some money.

However, you will be doing that tomorrow. Right now, take the train back to
the hotel, and get your disk out of the vault. If you don't know the password,
you can try going to the Princeton Club. You're not a member, but outside
you'll meet someone who will tell you what the password is (or, you can just
not bother; the password is in the hints section of the manual). Time is moving
on, so after you get the disk, go back to the tenement and just sleep until the
next morning.

Eat something, then go downtown to the Park. Sit on the bench, open the pad,
and wait. Eventually you will get some customers. It is important here to do
things right the first time, otherwise you will have to reboot to restore your
position (save before you enter the Park, to be on the safe side).

The first sitter will be a girl; when she asks if she should smile, say No.
You'll get a much better portrait, and an extra $1.50 to boot. The next one
will be a cowboy-type. Draw him straight on, not in profile, and you'll pick up
$10. Easy money, huh? Then you'll get an out-of-towner; draw him with his eyes
closed. Now keep waiting until Bette shows up. This is the woman you dreamed of
in the tenement; your true love.

She'll take you to her apartment. Now you have a decent place to stay, and
plenty of food as well. Ask her all kinds of questions, and find out what you
can from her. You'll spend the night there. In the morning, after Bette leaves
(and has written her phone number on your arm, in case you suffer another bout
of amnesia), go uptown to the Friendly Computer store, and rent time on an
Apple, so you can read the disk files. You MUST do this to complete the game.

You'll be able to read all but the last file; in fact, you will never read this
one, but it doesn't matter. After reading the files, go back to Bette's place
and just hang out. Spend another night there, then after Bette leaves, just
wait until she calls you and gives you Denise's phone number.

Call that number, and identify yourself as John. Denise will ask you to come in
a half hour or so. It's a trap of course, but you have no options. Get
something to eat, then make your way over to the Dakota.

In the apartment, much of the action is automatic. You can give almost any
answer you like to Denise's questions, it doesn't matter. Sit tight until
Zane leaves the room and gunshots are heard. Denise will take off, and so
should you. Any action except leaving will get you killed, so get out of there
fast. Go back to Bette's apartment, and get some sleep.

In the morning, wait for Denise's phone call. She'll tell you that they have
Bette, and then tells you to come to the Dakota the next day between 8 AM and
Noon. This is another set-up. As soon as you hang up, leave the apartment, and
go uptown. However, instead of entering the Dakota, go north one more block to
W. 73rd, and then one block west. You'll see a service alley. Go in there, and
pick up the tire iron, then climb up the fire stairs (note: you cannot do
anything in the alley, unless you have first received Denise's call).

When you reach the fourth floor, pry off the grating with the iron. Now you can
reach the window, which, as you might expect, is locked. You have a choice
here: smash the window and enter, or stay on the stairs. Either way, you will
be knocked out, and awaken to find yourself handcuffed to Alice.

Alice, alas, is dying, and there is nothing you can do for her. But, she has
a lot of information, and this time, it's the truth. Keep her talking for as
long as possible, and you'll have just about the whole, sordid, story.

Now Zane will come along, and drag you into another room. Denise is sitting
at the computer, ready to boot the disk, and Bette is brought in, too. I still
haven't figured out how Denise was able to bring up the last file, but she
does manage it. Anyway, just sit there, and give out the answers to the various
riddles, accurately. Finally the fifth file will come up.

Here you must give the last two letters that are missing from AMNES--. The
correct answer, of course, is IA. However, Denise, who suspects a trick, enters
TY instead, thereby erasing the file. That effectively ends your direct
participation in the game; all the rest is automatic, as guns blaze and people
drop like flies. You and Bette safely escape, to start a new life somewhere
else. Personally, tho, I think that Bette deserves someone better than Xavier
Hollings.....

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Using The Net To Build Your Buzz In The Hip Hop Business

What was the process decades ago to get famous as a Hip Hop artist? Well, you had to send in your demo to record labels and hope for a contract. If you wanted any recognition at all, you probably had to perform countless shows locally as well. You could have went to the local radio station and hoped to get played if the DJ liked you. Luckily, today holds a completely different Hip Hop industry. There are plenty of different ways to generate a buzz now, and most of them are a lot easier. If you continue reading on in this article, you will find out the best ways to do so!

Creating an online buzz should be the one thing Hip Hop musicians should focus on now. The number one place people listen to new music is the internet. There are thousands of internet radio stations hoping you send in your music for them to play. You can even find hundreds of music-based communities to submit your music to, get reviews, and gain new fans. Getting yourself out in as many outlets as possible is the best way to generate a buzz. The internet is here to help you. It will get your music to millions of outlets, if you have talent and are willing to work for it.

Don't only focus online though. Building a local buzz is just as important. Performing at local concerts and building yourself online is necessary, since you need more than just a local buzz though. So, how do you generate a buzz online? After all, there is a lot more competition online than there is locally. Lucky for you, this article will show you a great way to market your music online. If you aren't using social media sites yet to market your music, you are definitely doing something wrong!

Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook should be your top priorities when it comes to marketing yourself online. Get active on Youtube, instead of just posting all of your music and videos for people to view. Comment on other people's music and collaborate with anyone who you think could help bring you some new fans. Even post music that is free to download. Every new video you put on Youtube should be posting to Facebook and Twitter, so your followers and fans can get it right away. Gain more fans and followers on Facebook and Twitter by staying active on those sites and by posting in Hip Hop forums. You can find plenty of these types of forums by just searching for Hip Hop Forums in Google or Bing.

Some of the newest faces in Hip Hop, like Hopsin, have generated almost all of their fans through the internet. If you want to be the next act to do so, you need to have good music and a willingness to market yourself. Since not everybody is meant to market, especially online, you could always hire an internet marketing agency to market for you, leaving you more time for your music. I'm sure there are plenty out there that will even give you discounts if they like your music. I wish you the best with your music and your career!

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Sunday, October 28, 2012

5 Fitness Mistakes To Dodge

Many people approach fitness the same way, they jump in as hard as possible, diet hard, train hard, and get burnt out within a few weeks. That leads to many people giving up. It even happens to people that have been doing it for years if they aren't careful. It doesn't just affect newcomers. The best thing you can do to make sure this doesn't happen to you is continue reading this article to find out 5 mistakes thousands of people make!

1 - Not Planning Ahead

You have to plan ahead if you want to succeed with a healthier lifestyle through diet and fitness. This means you need to plan your diet, plan your meals, plan your workout program, and set realistic goals in a reachable timeframe. Failure to do any of these things listed could be catastrophic for your fitness lifestyle. Random workouts and meals are good sometimes, but if you rely on randomness all the time, you will probably fail!

2 - Excuses

Too many people make too many excuses. Maybe you have a cough so you don't feel like working out. Your friends may want to party later tonight so you can't workout today. Eating healthy is too expensive is another excuse we hear all the time. In reality, it isn't really expensive at all. Excuses are completely worthless so why even waste your time making them up. Stop making excuses if you want to be healthier and be physically fit. You don't succeed in life by putting stuff off because you have a 'good' excuse.

3 - Workout Frequency

A lot of people think working out once a week for 15 minutes is just fine. Others think they have to be in the gym every day of the week for 2 hours or more. They are both wrong. You have to workout the right amount every week to meet your goals, and that amount of time spent working out is different for everyone. You want to workout enough to meet your goals within the foreseeable future and you don't want to overtrain and risk injury. Usually, the best routine to do is 3 to 4 times per week for about an hour per workout. In fact, thousands of people already follow workout routines that follow that schedule!

4 - Magic

Sorry, science has still yet to come up with a workout program, and a pill that performs magic for you. There is nothing magic about success with health and fitness. It just takes hard work and dedication. I hate to sound mean but it's the truth. Companies spend millions on advertisements hoping the consumers don't realize that magic doesn't exist.

5 - Comparisons

Comparing yourself to a fitness professional or somebody that has much more experience that you is setting yourself up for a downfall. Don't compare yourself to anybody. Your DNA makes you different from the rest of the world, so why would you compare yourself to someone else? You don't compare dogs and cats when it comes to their body. The only comparison you should be making is yourself now to yourself 6 months ago. If that doesn't give you great motivation, then you are not working out right!

Now you have read the 5 easiest mistakes to avoid in the world of fitness. If you set realistic goals and don't make the mistakes listed in this article, there are very few things in the world that can stop you from reaching them. Even the professionals make mistakes from time to time, so go ahead and save this article for future reference!

If you are looking for more information on health and fitness, you should check out Milo Martinovich Fitness. It features an informational Fitness Blog. If you are interested in personal training services in Reno, NV, Milo Martinovich is a highly qualified Personal Trainer In Reno, Nevada.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

ADVENTURE QUEST - JEWELS OF DARKNESS PART 2 (Level 9)

(You start by a brick building) IN, GET TABLE, OUT, S,
S, S, W, S, S, DROP TABLE, U, GET BALL, D, GET TABLE, N, N, E,
S, S, DROP TABLE, GET ORCHID (by standing on the table), U, GET
ONION, EAT IT (it's garlic - later it'll protect you against the
vampire!), E, U, U (you get a scroll), READ SCROLL (a hint reg.
the four elemental stones), DROP IT, D, D, W, W, N, E, GIVE ORCHID
TO UNICORN (it asks you to come along), N, N, N, GET MEDALLION AND
PIPES, S, S, S, W, N, IN, GET BOTTLE, OUT, N, N.

N, N, N, W, N, WAIT, E, E, E (the sandworm rises from the sand
Glass Pipes and eats the sphinx on the pyramid. Timing is important!), N, DROP
TALISMAN AND BALL, S, W, W, W, S, WAIT (because of the worm), E,
WAIT, S, WAIT, S, S, S, S, IN, GET KEYS AND SLING, DRINK WATER, D,
FILL BOTTLE, U, OUT, N, N, N, N, N, W, N, WAIT, E, E, E, N, DROP
SLING, W, W, W, SAY OPEN SESAME (the stone slab slides away),
N, GET SUNDIAL, S, E, E, E, S, W, U, PLAY PIPES (the snakes
vanish), DROP PIPES, IN (the priestess gives you a ruby in
exchange for the sundail), OUT, D, E, N, DROP BOTTLE, GET SLING
AND BALL, E, U, U, U, U, W, W, WAVE SLING (the giant runs off),
DROP SLING, U, U, U, U, U, U, U, U, UNLOCK SNOWMAN, DROP KEYS, GET
SNOWMAN, D, D, D, PUSH ROCKS (with the help of the snowman, you
push the rocks down on the orcs, who disappear), D, D, IN, S, U,
U, U, IN, THROW RUBY (it explodes, the shadow is killed), N, GET
EMERALD AND BAG, S, OUT, D, D, D, E, GET ROPE, W, N, N, U, U, U,
U, U, DROP EMERALD AND ROPE, D, D, D, D, D, IN, S, S, D, D, D, D,
D, D, W, W, W, S, OPEN BAG (wind escapes and removes the Djinn),
DROP BAG, S, IN, DRINK WATER, GET TRIDENT, OUT, GET LAMP, N,
N, E, E, GET BOTTLE AND MEDALLION, FILL BOTTLE (with oil), E,
U, U, U, U, U, U, IN, N, N, U, U, U, U, U, DROP LAMP, IN, THROW
ALL, OUT, GET ALL, IN, LIGHT LAMP, TIE ROPE, OFF LAMP, D.

DROP ALL, U, E, GET LUNGFISH (you can now breathe underwater.
By taking Lung Fish you change between water- and air breathing),
D (du kommer under vand), DROP LUNGFISH, U, GET LAMP; BOTTLE AND
NET, D (the trident protects you against sharks), N, N,
W, W, W, CATCH JELLYFISH (it provides light underwater), E,
E, E, N, D, W, U, DROP JELLYFISH, U, DROP BOTTLE AND LAMP, D,
CATCH JELLYFISH, E, S, E, S, S, DROP JELLYFISH AND NET, U, GET
KEYS; MEDALLION AND EYE, GET LUNGFISH, DROP IT, GET IT, N, N,
W, N, D, U, DROP LUNGFISH, GET IT, DROP IT, U, GET LAMP, LIGHT
IT, DROP TALISMAN, GET BOTTLE, OIL DOOR, UNLOCK IT (it opens),
DROP KEYS.

N, N, N, N (the process of getting past the arrows seems to be
random. Use SAVE og OOPS often), GIVE EYE TO STATUE (you get a
sword), S, S, U, U, U, GET EARTHSTONE (you fight the spider using
the sword. An orc steals the stone), D, D, D, S, W, W, N, N,
E, S, S, W, GET EARTHSTONE, E, N, N, W, CUT BRIDGE (that'll keep
the orcs from chasing you), S, S, E, E, DROP SWORD (do NOT bring
it south!), S, OFF LAMP, DROP IT, GET MEDALLION, D, D, DROP
MEDALLION AND EARTHSTONE (the current takes them to Dark Tower),
U, U, D, FILL BOTTLE, U, GET LAMP, LIGHT IT, N, GET SWORD,
N, N, W, W, W, W, THROW BOTTLE (it extinguishes the dragon's
fire), N, GET EGG, S, W, D (wait till the fire goes NE - SW), D,
WAIT, D, WAIT, D, WAIT, D, GET CLOAK, D, WAIT, D, E, D (the cloak
protects you), D, D, D, W, THROW CLOAK (you can now walk over the
coals, W, S, DROP EGG IN NEST (rise of the Phoenix!), N, W, W, W,
W, U (Lenslok check!), GET SUNSTONE, D, DROP LAMP, WAIT (Phoenix
awaits you. Entering the bridge is safe now), E, HIT BRIDGE WITH
SWORD (the balrog pulls you down with it - who said LOTR???).

W, N, N, N, GET BRAZIER AND STARSTONE, JUMP (the orcs dare not
follow you), DROP BRAZIER (it gives off heat), GET IT, S, S, S,
S, E, D, D, D, D, D, S, S, THROW BRAZIER (the shadows disappear),
E, E, S, S, S, W, W, IN, S (the vampire leaves when he smells that
you've eaten garlic), U, DROP SUNSTONE, GET BOOTS, D, N, OUT, E,
E, N, N, N, E, E, E, GET MISTSTONE, W, W, S, W, S, S, S, S, W,
W, IN, S, U, DROP SWORD, GET SUNSTONE, OUT, S, S, DROP STARSTONE
Herb Grinders AND MISTSTONE, N, GET EARTHSTONE AND MEDALLION (you did remember
dropping them into the lake ?), S, DROP BOOTS, GET STARSTONE,
U, U, INSERT EARTHSTONE (the door opens), D, D, GET MISTSTONE,
U, U, IN, INSERT SUNSTONE, IN, INSERT STARSTONE, IN, INSERT MISTSTONE,
IN, WAVE MEDALLION (Agaliarept slips away), N, W, W, W, S, E
(you hide from the orcs), W, N, E, N, N, N, D, D, N (the Phoenix
helps you defeating the Demon Lord. The country is saved!)

Hints:
-----
Wolves - if you encounter them, throw anything to make them run off.
Octopus - carry the wing bag here.
Skeletal Hands - if (when!) you meet them, use your sword.
Sharks - use the trident.

HOW TO SOLVE ADVENTURELAND

[NOTE: WHEN CHIGGERS BITE YOU, TAKE THE MUD & DROP IT] E, S, CLIMB TREE, TAKE KEYS, D, E, N, TAKE AXE, S, W, CHOP TREE, DROP AXE, W, TAKE FRUIT, E, GO STUMP, DROP FRUIT, TAKE LAMP, D, TAKE RUBIES, U, DROP RUBIES, RUB LAMP, RUB LAMP, D, GO HOLE, UNLOCK DOOR, DROP KEY, U, U, U, E, GO HOLE, TAKE FLINT, U, W, GO STUMP, D, GO HOLE, GO HALL, LIGHT LAMP, D, D, D, W, D, Smoking Accessories TAKE RUG, D, TAKE NET, UNLIGHT LAMP, W [YOU DIE], U, D, E, S, GO STUMP, TAKE BOTTLE, U, E, N, TAKE FISH, S, W, GO STUMP, DROP FISH, DROP NET, DROP BOTTLE, U, TAKE AXE, DROP LAMP, DROP FLINT, DROP RUG, E, N, N, TAKE OX, SAY BUNYON, SWIM, S, W, W, TAKE OX, E, GO STUMP, DROP OX, U, TAKE LAMP, TAKE FLINT, TAKE RUG, GO STUMP, TAKE BOTTLE, D, GO HOLE, GO HALL, LIGHT LAMP, D, E, S, TAKE BLADDER, N, U, UNLIGHT LAMP, U, U, U, U, TAKE GAS, GO STUMP, D, GO HOLE, GO HALL, LIGHT LAMP, D, S, U, DROP BLADDER, LIGHT GAS, GO HOLE, JUMP CHASM, SCREAM, TAKE MIRROR, GO THRONE, TAKE CROWN, UNLIGHT LAMP, E, U, D, E, S, GO STUMP, DROP RUG, DROP CROWN, DROP MIRROR, D, GO HOLE, GO HALL, LIGHT LAMP, D, S, TAKE BRICK, W, D, N, D, D, W, D, D, DROP BRICK, DAM LAVA, POUR WATER, TAKE Glass Pipes FIRESTONE, UNLIGHT LAMP, E, U, D, E, S, GO STUMP, DROP FIRESTONE, U, TAKE MUD, GO STUMP, D, GO HOLE, GO HALL, LIGHT LAMP, D, N, N, TAKE HONEY, TAKE BEES, E, S, U, U, U, U, U, DROP BEES, TAKE EGGS, S, GO STUMP, DROP EGGS, DROP HONEY, AND... S C O R E ! YOU WIN!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Zork II infocom

Zork II infocom Get all/S/S/S/Sw/S/Se/Enter gazebo/Get all/Leave/S/S/W/Light lamp/N Get brick/N/Fill teapot/N/U/Put placemat under door/Move lid Put opener in keyhole/Get all/Drop placemat and opener/Get key Unlock door with key/Open door/Drop key/N/Get sphere/S/D/W/N Kill dragon with sword/S/Kill dragon with sword/S Kill dragon with sword/W/U/S/Get string/Drop sphere and sword/N/D/W/S Open receptacle/Put newspaper in receptacle/Light match Light newspaper with match/Enter basket/Wait/Land/Tie rope to hook Get out of balloon/S/Get purple book/N/Get coin/Enter balloon Untie rope/Open book/Get stamp/Drop book/Wait/Wait/Wait/Wait/Land Tie rope to hook/Get out of balloon/S/Put brick in hole Put string in brick/Light match/Light string with match/N/S/Get crown Bongs N/Enter balloon/Untie rope/Close receptacle/Drop matches/Wait/Wait Wait/Wait/Wait/Get out of balloon/N/Get ruby/E/U/S/Drop crown Drop ruby/Drop stamp/Drop coin/N/D/E/N/N/W/W/Ne/E/S/Get portrait/N Walk through curtain/Walk through south wall/Walk through curtain Get bills/Walk through north wall/Drop portrait and bills/E/E Get bills and portrait/Walk through curtain/S/E/E/N/Kiss princess Open chest/S/E/I/E/I/D/S/I/E/E/N/Enter gazebo/Wait/Leave/S/W/W/N/N/W/N N/Drop rose/Get statuette/S/S/S/W/U/S/Drop all except lamp and teapot Ne/Se/Answer "a well"/E/E/Enter bucket/Drop water/Get out of bucket/E Get all except orange cake/Eat green cake/E/Drop red cake in pool Get package/W/Eat blue cake/Nw/Tell robot "go east"/E Tell robot "press triangular button"/Tell robot "go south"/S Get sphere/Tell robot "lift cage"/Get sphere/N/W/Se/W/Enter bucket Get water/Get out of bucket/W/Drop teapot/Get necklace/W/Nw/Open box Get violin/Sw/Get key and sword and blue sphere/Sw Give package to lizard/Unlock door with key/Open door/S/W/W Throw sword at aquarium/Get clear sphere/E Put clear sphere in diamond stand/Put red sphere in ruby stand Put blue sphere in sapphire stand/Get sphere/S/Put sphere in pentagram Give all except lamp to demon/N/E/N/N/Get all/Sw/S/W/S Give all except lamp to demon/Tell demon "give me the wand"/Get wand/N E/N/N/Ne/W/Get can/E/S/Point wand at menhir and say "float"/Sw Get collar/Ne/S/D/S/Se/Ne/Nw/Sw/N/D/Put collar on dog/E/Open door/S Spray me with repellent/Douse lamp/Open secret door/S

Monday, August 6, 2012

ZORK I Part 1

ZORK I Part 1 NOTE: This walkthru was written without the thief stealing any treasures! When you get to a place where a treasure is supposed to be but it's not there, it means the thief has beat you to it. Do not attempt to fight the thief until you have attained 200 points! Finding treasures, storing them in the Trophy Case and solving puzzles will gain you points. Just continue following the walkthru until you're at 200 points then fight the thief. When you kill him you will get all the missing and stolen treasures back. You're standing to the west of a boarded up white house in this, the first adventure in the ZORK trilogy. The mailbox contains a leaflet if you want to read it, but it won't help you solve the game. Go west and east to the Forest Path and climb the tree. Here, nestled safely in a nest, is a beautifully carved egg. It's so delicate that you couldn't possibly open it. But someone will, so get the egg, climb down and go north. There is a pile of leaves here. Moving them reveals a locked grating. But, again, opening it or leaving it locked won't make a difference in the game. Go east, south and west to the back of the house. Here you see a small window that's slightly ajar. Open the window the rest of the way and go west. You find yourself in a kitchen with a lunch and a bottle of water sitting on the table. Don't bother with these items just now. Go west once more and you're in the living room. You see a lamp and a sword laying here for the taking. You also see a closed trophy case that, at the moment, is empty. This will be your drop-off point for treasures. Move the rug you see on the floor and you find a trap-door! Get the lamp, open the door and go down the stairs. Turn your lamp on (there are grues in the dark!) and go south and east. You've found the Art Gallery. It's been well ransacked, but the plunderers before you have left a lovely painting here! Get the painting, drop the egg (more about the egg later) and go north to the studio. You see a chimney leading upwards, so turn your lamp off and go up. You're back in the kitchen! This is the only time you'll use the chimney to get out of the cellar. Go west back to the Living Room, open the trophy case and put the painting in the case. You don't have to close it since this is a "safe" area from the thief, whom you'll run into him from time to time. If you're carrying any treasures, he'll take them from you. But you will get them back later on. Open the trap door once more, get the sword and go down. Turn your lamp on and go north. Good grief! What a vicious looking Troll you've encountered! There's no way out, so kill the troll with the sword. Randomly, you'll eventually kill him. When you have, drop the sword, leave the axe and go east three times. You're in a very strange room. Everything you say echoes back at you. And you find it impossible to get the Platinum Bar you've found! Don't panic, just say "echo" and the acoustics of the room change subtley, allowing you to pick up the bar. Now go up, northwest and east, then turn your lamp off. You're at the top of a dam with a control panel that seems to control the sluice gates. Go north to the Dam Lobby, get the matchbook then go east. Turn your lamp on, push the red button, then the yellow button. Ah, light! Turn your lamp back off and get the screwdriver and wrench, then go south twice back to the Top of the Dam. The green bubble is now glowing and you should be able to turn the bolt with the wrench. As you do so, the sluice gates open the and water pours through the dam. Drop the wrench and go down to the Dam Base. You find a pile of folded plastic here. Get the plastic and go up. Mixing Services
Turn your lamp on and go south, down, east three times and south to the South White Cliffs Beach. Drop your plastic here, then go north, west twice, up and northwest back to Resevoir South. Now go north to the middle of the lake. You see a trunk bulging with jewels! Get the trunk and go north to Resevoir North. Hmmm, a hand-held air pump! What luck! Get the pump and go north once more to the Atlantis Room. You see a beautiful Trident here. Your load is too heavy to carry it, though. We'll get it later. Now go up, west and north to the Mirror Room. This room is extremely strange. You can change the directions you're going by touching the mirror. This changes the directions. Go north. If you find yourself in the narrow passage, go north and west three times to the maze. If you find yourself in the Cold Passage, go west, down, north and west to the maze. This maze is not all that difficult to map. Unfortunately, you have to contend with the thief, who tends to pick up items you might drop for mapping purposes and moves them to other locations. So follow closely! Go south, east and up to the room with the Skeleton in it. Here you find several items, but all you should touch is the bag of coins. Again, your load is too heavy. We'll get the coins later. Go southwest, east, south and southeast. You're in a room with a ferocious looking cyclops! There's two ways to get rid of him, but the easiest is to say "Odysseus". Upon hearing the name of his father's ancient enemy, the cyclops let's out a frightened yell and runs straight through the eastern wall! Go east twice and you find yourself back in the Living Room! Now this is handy! Turn your lamp off and put your treasures in the case, turn your lamp back on and open the trap door again. Now that you've found a different exit from the Cellar, the door won't close on you again. Now, we're going to get the coins, so north, west, south, east and up. Get the coins. If they're not here, the thief beat you to them. Now go southwest, east, south, southeast and east twice. Turn your lamp off and put the coins in the case. It's time to go for a ride on the river, so get ready for a wild white-water ride! ZORK I Part 2 Ready to go? Good! Go down the stairs, turn you lamp on and go north, east five times, then south. Inflate the plastic with the hand pump, drop the pump and get in the raft. Launch the raft (wheee!). You have to work quickly at this point. Any hesitation will carry you over the Argrain Falls to you death! Get the buoy and go east to the East Shore. Get out of the boat and open the buoy. You find a beautiful Emerald hidden inside! Get the Emerald, drop the buoy and get the boat. Now go north to the Sandy Beach, drop the boat and get the shovel. Time to go digging! Go northeast to the Sand-filled Cave and dig four times (no more, no less!). All your digging finally uncovers a jeweled Scarab! Drop the shovel and get the Scarab then go southwest. Get in the boat and launch it then go west back to the South White Cliff Beach. Get out of the boat and go north, west twice, up, northwest, and north three times to the Atlantis Room. You should now be able to get the Trident. Get it and go south three times, southeast, southwest, north, southwest, west, south and up the stairs to the living room. Turn your lamp off and store the emerald, scarab and trident in the trophy case. Now go east to the kitchen, go up the stairs and turn on your lamp. Get the knife and rope, turn your lamp off and go down the stairs. Go west and down the stairs. Turn your lamp back on and go north, east twice, southeast and east. Tie the rope to the railing and go back west, northwest, west twice, south and up the stairs. Now go west twice to the Cyclops Room. By now you should have 200 points and you're strong enough to do away with the thief. If you don't have 200 points, save your game at this point and try to kill him anyway! I managed to kill him with 130 points. Go up the stairs.... As you enter the Thief's Treasure Room, he appears through an unseen passage, mumbles a few magic words and all the treasures disappear! Kill the thief with the knife. Free Hip Hop Music
This action, like killing the troll, is random and you may have to keep fighting him for several turns. Eventually, though, you're successful and all the treasures he's stolen from you magically reappear! In addition to your treasures, you see that he's managed to open the Delicate Egg and there's also an ornate Silver Chalice here. Drop the knife and get everything you can carry except for the knife and the thief's stilleto, go down the stairs and east two times back to the Living Room. Turn your lamp off and put all the treasures in the case. Repeat this process until you've taken all the treasures from the Thief's Treasure Room and stored them in the case. When you've completed this task, go back down the trap door's staircase, turn your lamp on and go north, east twice, southeast and east to the Dome Room. Climb down the rope and you find a beautiful Ivory Torch burning! Not only have you found another treasure, but you've found another source of light! So get the Torch and turn your lamp off. It's time to visit Hades! Go down and get the small bell, then go south to the South End Temple. You see on the Altar a Book and two burning Candles. Take these items and go down twice. You're at the entrance to Hades. The spirits jeer at you and your feeble attempts to enter. But don't let them daunt you! You have the means to disspell the evil forces baring your entrance! Ring the bell. As you do so, the bell becomes red-hot and you quickly drop it! In the process, you also drop the candles and they go out. Get the candles, and light them with one of your matches. Your efforts seem to be taking effect as the spirits and wraiths cower at your new found power! Finally, read the book. Suddenly, a loud voice commands the spirits to be gone and they scream in terror, fading through the walls. Go south into the Land of the Dead. Around you in piles are the bones of other adventurers less lucky than you. Also laying here is a carved Crystal Skull, grinning nastily. Get the skull and go north. Drop the book and candles and go up, west and north to the Cold Passage. If you find yourself in the Narrow Passage, go back south to the Mirror Room, touch the mirror, then go north again. Now to west and down the slide, then up the stairs. Put the skull in the case and go east to the Kitchen. Open the sack and get the garlic, then back west to the Living Room and down the stairs. Don your miner's cap and get ready to dig some coal...we're going mining! ZORK I Part 3 From the Cellar go north, east twice, southeast, east and down the rope. Now go down, south, down and north to the Mirror Room. Go north. If you're not in the Cold Passage, go back south and touch the mirror, then go north again. From the Cold Passage, go west and north to the Mine Entrance. Now go west and north to the Bat Room. Good thing you have your garlic with you because there's a Vampire Bat here! Leave the Jade Figurine you see. We'll get it on the way back. Now go east to the Shaft Room. You see a sort of basket/chain arrangement. Put the screwdriver and the Torch in the basket and go north. Turn your lamp on and go down. Whew...Gas!! If you'd brought the Torch with you, it would've been quite explosive in here! Leave the Bracelet. Now we're going into a series of Coal Mines, so go east, northeast, southeast, southwest, and down twice. Go south and get the coal. Ready? Right! Go north, up twice, north east, south, north up, and south to the Shaft Room once more. Put the coal in the basket and lower the basket using the chain. Once more, trudge back to the Ladder Bottom by going north, down, east, northeast, southeast, southwest, and down twice. Now go west. You have come to a room with a tight squeeze heading west. There's a timber laying here, but it's not good for anything. Drop everything you're carrying and go west into the Drafty Room. Aha! So this is where the basket went to! Get the Torch, Coal and Screwdriver from the basket and go south. You're in a bizarre room with a strange looking machine. Lift the lid and put the coal inside, then close the lid. Now, how to start the blasted thing? Your fingers are much too large to turn the switch, but the screwdriver will do the job nicely! Turn the switch with the screwdriver and all sorts of commotions come from the machine accompanied by flashing lights! After a few minutes all is quiet again. Drop the screwdriver and open the lid. Inside the machine is a Large Diamond! Get the Diamond and go north. Put the Diamond and Torch into the basket and go east. Get everything you dropped except the timber. It's time to leave the Coal Mine. Go east, up twice, north, east, south, and north. Get the Bracelet and go up and south. Raise the basket and get the Torch and Diamond, then drop your lamp...you won't need it any longer. Free Rap Music
Go west and get the Jade Figurine, then south and east and drop the garlic. Go south and down the slide back to the Cellar, then up the stairs to the Trophy Room. Put the Diamond, Jade and Bracelet in the case, get the Canary and go one last time down the stairs to the Cellar. Go north, east twice, southeast, east and down the rope. Now go down twice to the Egyptian Room. You see the golden coffin of Rameses II sitting here! Get the Coffin and go up and south. There's no way for you to get the Coffin down those stairs, but seeing as this is an Altar, why not pray? As you pray, you feel disoriented for a moment and then find yourself in the forest! And all your items are with you! Open the Coffin and you see a multi-hued Sceptre! You'll need the Sceptre, but leave it in the Coffin for now so you don't have to worry about carrying too many items. Go east, north, east, south and east to the Canyon View. Go down twice and north to the End of the Rainbow. Seems to me there should be a Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow! Wave the Sceptre and look! The rainbow solidifies into a passable bridge! Go east onto the Rainbow then go back west. There it is! The Pot of Gold! Get the Gold and go southwest, up twice, northwest, west, east and west. Now for the Canary. Wind the Canary up. As you do so, it begins to sing. As it winds down a Songbird flies overhead and in the effort of trying to sing back to the Canary opens its beak and drops a lovely Brass Bauble at your feet! The Bauble and go west twice to the Living Room and put the Coffin, Bauble, Canary, Sceptre and Pot of Gold in the case. As you put the last treasure in the case, a voice whispers in your ear to look to your treasures for the final secret. When you look in the Trophy Case you see an Ancient Parchment which appears to be a Map! Get the map and go east twice, south and west. You now see a path that wasn't there before! Go southwest and you find yourself in front of a Stone Barrow! Enter the Barrow and the door slams behind you! You see that you've found the beginning of ZORK II and have solved ZORK I due to your skill and bravery! Congratulations! Now on to ZORK II...can you face the Wizard and conquer him? ZORK is a trademark of Infocom, Inc. This walkthru is copyrighted by Barbara Baser, 1984.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

BUREAUCRACY SOLVE

BUREAUCRACY is an Infocom Interactive Fiction Plus by Douglas Adams and the staff of Infocom. It's a zany game filled difficult puzzles. Merlin and I played the game together, and without his help and encouragement, I'd still be stuck at 5 (or maybe 6) points. Special thanks to Merlin for making this walkthru possible! As with most Infocom games, there may be alternate solutions. This walkthru offers one possible solution. You have left your previous job to accept employment with Happitec and you have moved to a new address. Happitec is sending you on a vacation to Paris. All you have to do is wait for the money order which Happitec is sending to you, pick up your plane ticket, and board the plane. So you think! It seems the removals company has misplaced all your belongings. The Change of Address card which you were to file somehow got sent to your old address. The new owner of your old home sent your mail to your old bank. Check out your wallet and you'll find that you have no money, an expired US Excess card and a Beezer card. Your new home contains a few meager possession, i.e., your Boysenberry computer, a telephone/answering machine and a few miscellaneous items. Take everything you can for you'll need everything you can find to solve this game. Listen to the messages on the telephone/answering machine. Consult your Address Book and call all the numbers listed. You'll learn a lot by doing this. The doorbell rings. Chowmail Overnite is delivering a large bag of Llamex(R) brand High-Fibre Llama Treats. You didn't order it, the address is wrong; but, you'll never be able to explain anything to the delivery man, so just give him your Beezer card. You are now the proud owner of a bag of llama treats! There's nothing else to do in the house for now, so explore your new neighborhood starting with your mailbox. Rap Beats The mail found in each location seems to be random. For example, in one game you might find a leaflet in the mailbox and in another game find a flyer in the mailbox. That isn't important. The postage is important so try to remember what type of postage was used and the order in which you find it. The mail you find in your mailbox has a postage stamp on it. Go to the bookstore. You'll notice it's actually a software store. Talk to the clerk. Ask him about software. He'll offer you a *special* cart which he keeps under the counter. SHOW the game cartridge to the clerk. He'll take it and give you a Recipe Cart. I found that I got a point for this, but did not get a point if I said TRADE cartridges. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 1 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. Go to the Travel Agency. Give the letter to the Agent and get your round-trip ticket to Paris. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 2 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. Go to the bank and try to file a Change-of-Address form. Lots of luck! The bank has already sent you a Change-of-Address form and one is all you are allowed. Too bad it was sent to your old address. Go to the old tenement building. There are stairs leading up and a door in the south wall. Nothing can be done about the blank wall at the top of the stairs, so forget it. Knock on the south door. A voice will answer and the door will open. Enter the flat which is occupied by a mousy little man. Seems he collects stamps. You will see some mail in the floor but the man won't let you pick it up. Show the stamped envelope to the man. He'll grab it and run out of the flat. Pick up the mail. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 3 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. By this time you will probably be getting hungry, so go to the Restaurant. The waitress will take your order then return to tell you that your order was lost due to a computer crash. Of course, it's her break time, so someone else will take your order. You must go through the long ordering process all over again. Wait for your order and eat whatever you get. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 4 OF A POSSIBLE 21 POINTS. You have no money to pay the bill, so sneak out the back door of the restaurant into the alley. From the alley you can squeeze through a gap in the fence to arrive at Behind Mansion. Enter the back door of the mansion. Here you'll find a macaw sitting on a perch. You can see some mail under the perch but the macaw will not allow you to take it. Go into the Trophy Room. It's a good idea to save the game first bcause the old woman shoots. Make a fast exit. Go to the front door of the mansion and ring the bell, then beat feet to the back door. Return to the Trophy Room, grab the painting of Ronald W. Reagan and exit. Show the painting to the macaw then take the mail from under the perch. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 5 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Go to the llama farm. Open the bag of llama treats. Push the bag through the mailbox so that it falls into the trough. While the llama is eating the treats, take the mail from the trough. Notice the Postal Service sticker. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 6 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Try to enter the farmhouse. The door won't budge. You must go away and return later. Go south to the gate. There's an intercom at the gate. It will crackle to life and a voice will say, "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." Could this be a password? Go back to the farmhouse. A heavily armed man resembling Woody Allen will appear in the doorway. He is rather dazed -- not sure where he is or who you are. Say: "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." He will respond with: "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London." You can try more conversation or merely wait for him to leave. Return to the gate. Again, the voice over the intercom will say, "Unfortunately, there's a radio connected to my brain." You must say, "Actually, it's the BBC controlling us from London." The gate will open. Enter the Foyer. You'll meet the paranoid owner of the house and discover the armed man is here also. The paranoid householder suspects you are an imposter so he will ask you a series of questions. To answer correctly, you must refer to the "Popular Paranoia" magazine which is included in your game package. One wrong answer and you're dead. New Hip Hop Music Answer them all correctly and you'll find yourself in a gaol cell in the basement of the paranoid's house. Examine the gaol door. Try cutting the molybdenum bars with the hacksaw. The armed man will give you the Swiss army knife. Examination of the knife will reveal a button marked POWER SAW and a lever marked GENERATOR. Push the button then pull the lever. Examine both the saw and the generator. Take the power saw and plug it into the generator. Get on the gnerator (it resembles a bicycle) and start pedaling. Oops! You can't reach the bars while sitting on the generator, so give the power saw to the armed man. He'll cut the door open for you. It's best to stall around in the Basement allowing the armed man to go up the stairs before you. The paranoid man and the armed man will depart. You'll see some mail in the foyer. Don't be surprised if you can't pick up the money order which you want so badly. Take the envelope. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 7 OF A POSSIBLE 21. The envelope contains a memo and a cheque. The check is drawn on the Fillmore Fiduciary Trust in the amount of -$75.00. Yes, that's a minus sign. Go to the bank. Get a withdrawal slip. Fill it out then take it to the Deposit window. Give the cheque and the withdrawal slip to the teller. You are depositing -$75.00 using a withdrawal slip which is the negative of a deposit slip, negative -$75 is $75. Makes perfect sense. Then go back to the withdrawal window. Fill out another withdrawal slip and withdraw $75.00. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 8 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Now that you have money, you might want to return to the restaurant to pay your bill. You are ready to go to the Airport. Call Getlost Airport Cab (number listed in your Address Book). Wait for the taxi. Oh, the Airport is a fun place! Since you have an Omnia Gallia ticket, you should go directly to the Omnia Gallia desk. Alas, Omnia Gallia has been sold. For further information you must go to the Air Galagasa desk. How do you find it? Well, the way that worked for me was going back to the airport entrance, then going through Lost and Found. Air Zalagasa seems to be north of the Lost and Found. It doesn't matter how early or late you arrive at the Air Zalagasa desk. A fat man will always be in line ahead of you and he'll cause you to miss the plane. Not to worry. When your turn finally comes, give the Omnia Gallia ticket to the clerk in exchange for an Air Zalagasa ticket. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 9 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Once you have the Air Zalagasa ticket in your hot little hand, go south one move and climb the pillar. Open the grate and climb up the duct. You'll eventually reach the Control Tower. A console radio will crackle, "Air Zalagasa flight 42 requests permission to take off." Say: "Controller, permission denied." Go back to the top of the pillar and examine the speaker. Pull red wire then pull black wire. Connect red wire to black wire. You have short circuited all the speakers in the terminal. The applaluse of the crowd is deafening! YOUR SCORE IS NOW 11 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Before you know what's happening, you'll find yourself on the plane in seat 3B. Shortly thereafter, the attendant will bring you a bowl of llama stew. Eat the stew and you die. Refuse to eat it and you die. How can you get rid of the stew? The only way I could get rid of it was to cause the seat ahead of me to recline, thus spilling the stew. By wearing the headphones, changing seats, and pushing buttons, you'll learn that the whole system is mixed up. The light button reclines the seats but you'll have to experiment to determine which light button controls which seat. (Thanks again to Merlin for his help!) Here's one way to do it: Before the attendant brings the stew, move to Seat 3C. Wait a few turns. The attendant will bring the stew. Leave it on your fold-out table and move to Seat 8D. Push the light button which actually reclines the seat ahead of Seat 3C. That seat will recline, thus spilling the stew. After the stew is spilled, return to Seat 3C. You'll see a small piece of laminated card. Examine this and take note of the words "STINGLAI KA'ABI." There will be a telephone call for you, so go to the phone. Most likely, it will be the waitress asking about the tip you left her. The line will be disconnected and you'll overhear another conversation. About this time the flight attendant will ask you to return to your seat; however, she will linger, giving you a chance to talk to her. Say: Attendant, STINGLAI KA'ABI. You'll receive a parachute. Go to the rear of the plane, open hatch, and jump out. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 12 OF A POSSIBLE 21. My Gawd! One strap of your parachute is caught in the plane's hatch. This can be deadly. Chances are you'll soon be falling without a parachute! Knock on the hatch. The attendant will open it, freeing your parachute strap. Falling! Don't forget to pull the rip cord. Hanging from a tree! Yep, you landed in a tree. Get out of the parachute. Splash! You are now in a cooking pot. Okay, the natives are hungry, so give them a good recipe. Boot up your Boysenberry and insert Rolling Papers the Recipe Cart. The natives will give you an unlabelled cartridge and return your lost address book. Don't ask me how they got it. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 14 OF A POSSIBLE 21. You are now in the Antechamber. Not clear how you got here. You'll see a closed locker door in the west wall and an exit to the east. Examine the locker door and read the sign. The left handle is pointing up. The middle handle is pointing down. The right handle is pointing up. It's a key of sorts. A general knowledge of binary helps. Okay, here's a solution: (1) Turn left handle and middle handle. You hear a click inside the door. (2) Turn left handle and right handle. You hear a click inside the door. (3) Turn left handle and middle handle. You hear a sharp click, as if something inside the door had moved. Open door. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 15 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Enter the locker and take the magnetic key-card. Then go east. You're in the Switchgear Rooms; it's a maze! Time to use your Boysenberry computer, so insert the unlabelled cartridge. Remember, earlier in this walkthru I advised you to notice the Postal Service stickers and the order in which you found them. Hope you paid attention, because you need that info now. I found the Postal stickers in this order: C, D, E and B. The computer program (unlabelled cartridge) gives you a list of commands: CLEAR, NOOZ, PRINTB, PRINTC, PRINTD, PRINTE. You must select the PRINT commands in the same order that you found the postal stickers. I used PRINTC, PRINTD, PRINTE, and PRINTB because that's the order in which I found the postal stickers. When you have done this, you should have a complete message on the screen. Can't read it? Oh, I forget to tell you: read from top to bottom one letter at a time. Using these instructions you should be able to find your way through the maze to the Airlock. In the Airlock, put the key-card in the card reader slot. You'll hear a bolt snapping back. Open the door. It will take several tries. Enter the Persecution Complex! YOUR SCORE IS NOW 17 OF A POSSIBLE 21. The Persecution Complex is a long hall running west. There are TV screens on each side of the hall. Go west looking at the screens on either side as you go. At the end of the hall you'll find a modular plug. Plug in your computer. You'll be asked for ID and password. What? Okay, take a look at your Address Book. Notice anything different? Right! The first address has been changed. That's the clue you need. Type in RANDOM-Q-HACKER for ID and RAINBOW-TURTLE for password. Connection will be made. Use command DIR for a listing of programs, WHO for a listing of users, and TYP for some *interesting* tidbits. You'll learn that two hackers have accessed the system. You are one; the nerd is the other. You'll also be be advised when the Nerd is about to access another file. The TYP command will enable you to learn of a certain file which should NOT be used with a friendly computer. Hmmm, what if you changed the name of that file? So, change the name of DVH2.HAK to whatever file the Nerd is preparing to access. Example: Nerd is about to access FIDUC.HAK. Change name of DVH2.HAK to FICUC.HAK. It might be necessary to first change the name of FIDUC.HAK to something else, but you'll have plenty of time to do that. By doing this, you will cause the Nerd to access a file which will destroy his own mainframe. Revenge is sweet! Once you have done this, an opening to the west will appear. It is *IMPORTANT* to run the PLANE.EXE program at some time before you reap your revenge. This will cause a plane to be sent to get you. YOUR SCORE IS NOW 20 OF A POSSIBLE 21. Wait patiently at the Landing Strip. The plane you summoned while using the PLANE.EXE program will eventually arrive. You'll be taken on a nice plane trip and a predictable taxi ride, arriving at the Hallway of the Tenement. From there, go to your home. You'll find a new letter from Fiduciary apologizing for the problems you've had. Enclosed in the letter you'll find a ticket to Paris, your checkbook and a new Beezer card. Congratulations... YOUR SCORE IS NOW 21 OF A POSSIBLE 21.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

How To Do On Page SEO If You Are Just Beginning Search Engine Optimization

Is the whole world of search engine marketing and optimization new to you? Well, this article will help you get the basics of your on page SEO, which is very important. On page SEO is the base of the pyramid that you will continuously build onto with off page SEO in the future. Off page SEO is much more important, mostly because it is a continuous process, but on page SEO is where everybody should start, especially if you are new to marketing. So, lets take a look at what you need to do for on page SEO for your first website.

If you don't have your keywords yet, that is definitely the first place to start. If you expect to rank for your keywords just based on your on page SEO, you are definitely going to have to pick some low competition keywords. If you have an off page SEO plan as well, you can go for harder keywords. I recommend going for one hard keyword and a couple lower competition keywords for every page that you want to rank on your site. If you don't want to buy a keyword tool, you can easily use Google's keyword tool and manual analysis of the top 10 for the certain keywords. Why spend money on a tool when you can just do everything for free?

You can now begin on page SEO with the chosen keywords. The number one thing you will want to do is put your keyword(s) in the title tag of your web page. Also, make sure your title tag doesn't exceed the title tag character limit of the search engine you are planning to market for, usually Google. The content of the page is where you need to shift your focus now. While you can try and aim for a certain keyword density, staying in the range of 2-5% is usually good practice. Don't overly place the keywords just to up your keyword density, which is also known as keyword stuffing. Even if you do end up ranking by keyword stuffing, your visitors will not be liking your page too much since it won't make much sense! Make sure to throw some italic, bold, and h tags in there with the keywords as well!

Even though you probably think you did a great job, double checking will make your on page SEO even better. Instead of doing this step manually, I recommend using a site analyzer like the SEO Powersuite's Website Auditor, which is a great piece of software to verify that on page SEO is good to go. You can use the free version of the software or you can buy it to get all the features. It is your choice! The good thing about the free version is that it gives enough information to fix things. If you don't like the looks of this software, there are plenty of others out there that you can try out as well!

A few years ago, on page SEO used to be the only thing needed to rank for keywords. Unfortunately, off page SEO has become more important than ever now. If you think that on page SEO is a thing of the past, make two sites and do the same off page SEO for both sites and only do on page SEO for one site and see which one performs better! On page SEO is one of the most important things that you can do when you are just starting out with marketing, especially with one of your first sites!

If you are interested in more with reference to Online Marketing, Search Engine Optimization, as well as Social Media Marketing, look at Deuce G Marketing. Deuce G Marketing is a high quality Online Marketing Service & offers many marketing services such as a top-of-the-line Article Writing Service. Also, you can check out this additional Marketing Article.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

32 New Marketing Articles

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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Why You Should Be Using Social Media Marketing For Your Company

There is no doubt that social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) are the trendy sites on the internet today. The only type of sites that are used more than social media sites are search engines (which should be a part of your online marketing as well!). If you don't think that you can use social media sites for your business, you are definitely wrong! Social media marketing, or SMM for short, is the new wave of internet marketing because it gives you the ability to reach the billions of people that used these types of sites every day in a comfortable informal situation. So, you don't really know what SMM or how to do it? Luckily for you, this post will show you exactly how to start off with SMM and bring your marketing to a new level! While there are many sites to market on, lets just look at Facebook and Twitter for the moment, since they are the most used.

Facebook

Facebook happens to be the 2nd most used site on the internet, according to traffic. It is only behind the colossal Google. If you haven't created a simple business page on Facebook, you definitely should. While you could create a normal account on Facebook for a business, it isn't taking advantage of the business page availability. You want users to be able to like your page and subscribe as well, which is very important on Facebook. Once you create that, you already have a good start on SMM for Facebook. Now that you have set it up, you have to make it interesting to the viewers. A good way to take advantage of Facebook business pages is to set up a certain page for people who like your page and give them a 10% off coupon for liking the page, or something similar to that. Also, you need to boost your likes as much as possible, without stooping to blackhat, or unethical, methods. A good way to do this if you have some money to invest is to run some Facebook ads, which will be shown to your target audience. If you do these simple things, you have a great base for your business in the social media world.

Twitter

Facebook and Twitter are like living on two different worlds. unfortunately, there are no business page options or ads to run on Twitter like there is on Facebook. However, you can definitely make your Twitter profile stand out from the crowd. A good thing to do is to follow every one of your followers, which lets them know that you appreciate the follow. Also, you have to tweet regularly. Tweeting about business news, updates on your website, or new sales going on are great to fill your followers top news list with. Hash tags are a great way to specialize your profile and get more exposure. For instance, if a company tweets, they may post their message along with hash tag phrases like #CompanyName, #CompanyProduct, or #CompanySlogan. If your profile gets enough followers and the followers love your products, you may even get a new Twitter trend! If you do this simple version of Twitter SMM, you are on your way to Twitter success.

You will see great results from these simple methods for the top two social sites. Facebook and Twitter profiles of businesses make the business more reputable, since the customers can connect with the business outside of a purchase. Don't doubt the power of SMM either! SMM can lead to more results than SEO and/or PPC campaigns, depending on the niche. The basics will only take you so far though, so master them and learn more advanced tactics or even hire an SMM service!

If you are interested in more about Online Marketing, SEM, along with Social Media Marketing, go to Deuce G Marketing. Deuce G Marketing offers high quality and affordable Professional SEO Services. Additionally, you can check out this other Marketing Piece.